Saturday, September 26, 2015

Why do we stop chasing butterflies?

Why do we stop chasing butterflies

Why do we not play in the rain

Why do we not smell the green grass in the park

Why do we give up on ourselves

Why, why, why

Why can't we dance like there's no one watching

Why can't we sing out of tune

Why can't we live without food for a day

Why don't we dress up for ourselves

Why do we give up on ourselves

Why, why, why

Why can't we make love the way we loved our first love

Why don't we let ourselves give fully and completely

Why do we allow just our lips to be kissed, why not let our souls be laid upon

Why do we give just our money and our bodies, why not our heart

Why is there manipulation, deceit, and dishonesty

Why is there no simplicity

Why is life so complicated

Why do we search for pleasure in pain, why do we search for victory in defeat

Why do we hold back, why do we give up on ourselves

Why, why, why

Why don't we dive two hundred feet into the sea from a cliff

Why can't we find one quiet place to scream our lungs out

Why are we silent in the most crowded of places

Why can't we really talk when we are alone

Why do we give up on ourselves

Why, why, why

Why don't we ride bicycles with carefree abandon

Letting the autumn winds play with loose hair, the colds freezing our faces, soil staining our dresses

Why can't we fall down, cry, beat the ground and rise back up, giggling meaninglessly

Why can we no longer turn upside down

When exactly do we start giving up on ourselves!

What are we afraid of?

Why can't we just breathe completely again

Why are we afraid of the smoke, pollution, guns, and blood

Why can't we breathe them in fully and let out all our love and kindness instead

Are we afraid we'll lose what we have? Do we fear we will be left with less?

Why can't we be grownups outside but still stay children within.

Sunday, September 6, 2015

From the Diaries of Betrayed Souls: A poem

Yes, I've been keeping quiet. May be because I was listening all this time, holding on to your every word.

But I've stopped listening because now I want to talk. But as you've (gratefully) noticed, I'm still keeping quiet.

May be I am quiet because I'm afraid.

May be I'm quiet because I know you are afraid.

May be you are not ready to listen

May be you know that I know

May be you are not strong enough to hear the truth from my mouth, of all the people

May be, you are just not ready to listen...

May be I know you lied to me, maybe you know I know you failed to keep your promise

May be you didn't fight enough for the one you loved, and cared

Was it because you didn't believe enough in me? Or was it because you didn't believe enough in your faith in me?

I believed in you. I trusted you. You knew I did.

But you broke my heart. You were too weak to tell me you failed me and that you broke my trust - when you knew I trusted you more than the others.

But you decided to protect yourself when in fact I needed to be protected.

And then you say I should talk? That I should open up? When you know I know, and when I know that you know I know, how can I open up?

True friendship is not based on lies!

And I will have you know, I can't speak till you tell me you're ready. I won't take chances this time and allow my trust to be tampered with. 

I will talk when I know you are willing to understand me from my perspective.

I will bring those walls down when I know you are strong enough to climb it.

I will open my heart when I know my words will not rip apart your soul. 

I will not speak until you understand my sharp words are to let us come closer, not to push you away.

Yes, I'm sensitive, I'm vulnerable. And it is my strength. I will not change and give up on my strength just because it is convenient and just because you like it.

I will continue to care for you - rather, feel sorry for you, because you are not strong enough to be honest with yourself. But I will never trust you, at least not until you prove otherwise.

Author's Footnote: This poem not just meant for men and women who've had their hearts broken in relationships. This is for all those people who have been betrayed in small and big ways. This is for the children whose daddy said he will come home early to play ball with him but did not because he got too busy finishing off a report and forgot. This is for the people whose friends who promised they would stand up for them but did not. This is for people fleeing warring nations who were promised refuge but denied at the last moment. This is for those powerful countries on earth who make promises to reduce their carbon footprint but instead bail out, and leave others to clean up their mess. This is for each one of us who say we will do one thing but excuse ourselves and give up when it matters the most. Because the truth is, when we do not stand up for what we said we would, we are not betraying others, we are betraying ourselves. This is for us to realize that we need to learn to be honest with ourselves or else we will never be able to face our world.