Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Hypocrisy towards our own sons and daughters. Where are we headed?

The biggest pain a woman goes through is not physical pain, but the fact that no matter what she becomes, how much money, fame, and power she achieves, no matter what she does for her family and community, or no matter how pretty, talented at home and outside she is, people find an excuse to comment about her life and think it is okay to make statements questioning her desires and dreams. Once she hits a certain age, her worth and completeness of her life is measured by her marital status and motherhood.
Not my personal experience, but heard a friend's friend shed copious tears because she went through this. Women were not created solely to marry and rear children, in the same way men were not made for roles their gender is traditionally attributed. Agreed, we all (okay most of us) need companionship after our parents and siblings are gone, but why judge another person's life and their definition of happiness based on our parameters of happiness?
And in fact, why just women, even men go through so much every day. Marital laws weigh heavily against them. They are subjected to the insecurity of being sole and (when not sole) primary breadwinners, being knights in shining armors to their spouses, being good innocent boys to their mothers, being the "world's best dad" to their kids, and what not. But when it comes to them having to cope with their pains, fears, insecurities, they are told to stay silent, and called a wuss if they shed tears?
Why are we such hypocrites? What kind of world are we creating? What kind of education are we imparting our next generations? Why do we not think that, the grief we make someone else's child go through, even our blood and flesh will go through it one day?
Today so many have money, but very few have class. So many have educational degrees - masters, doctorates even, but barely anyone is educated.

Do we really want to bring our kids in such a world?

Image off the web.

Friday, April 22, 2016

Food, cooking, and trailing thoughts

Side effects of a candid conversation with mother about how proud she is to have a son who learned to cook out of his own free will:

I would love to love a man who can cook and who is willing to cook when needed.

No, wait, before you judge me, hang on. Turn me into a tree for a minute, and read along. J

Don't equate this with loving to have someone submissive or a stay at home person because it is not that, but someone who is humble and secure enough to realize that cooking, like earning money, is a basic skill that everyone in today's day and age ought to have, irrespective of whether they live with family or friends or by themselves. There are few things more aphrodisiacal than having someone who knows when to lead and when to let another lead without feeling awkward about it – and this goes both ways. It is about having the courage not just to care in the heart but to actually get up and do something about it when required (and once in a while, even when not required). Sometimes that could even mean a pack of instant noodles. The practicality to understand that manliness (or womanliness) is not, and should not be defined by one's role in society or by the four walls of the house.

Life is so much more than living up to stereotypes. it is about being true to ourselves about who we are, where we came from, and most importantly, where we want to end up. Practicality is much more than conforming to norms; it is about living in the here and now, acknowledging that reality, and molding ourselves to make us and those with us happier. And respect is beyond chivalry; it is about having the courage to be truthful, honest, trustful and trustworthy, and the will to fight together when we ourselves may be free falling.

The girl should cook, the boy should drive, no one made these "rules." There is no such law. People should follow what works best for them; for some it is convention, for others, the opposite. No point following something blindly just because we saw it happening that way for eons or because it sounds convenient. In my short life so far and many years of discovering the beautiful creation called man, I have come to realize that on most occasions we do not know ourselves well enough. We create rigid, larger than life expectations of what we want without assessing whether we can mold ourselves to be able to accept the tag-alongs of what we expect. Or we know ourselves but refuse to accept what we see in the mirror. In today’s times where almost everybody thinks they are a somebody, want to show the world they have a somebody (and then go home and turn that person into a nobody), this rigidity, fickle-mindedness and refusal to accept realities may very well become a recipe for disaster and grief. In fact, the very concept of comparing men and women seems lackluster. Neither is inferior nor superior; rather, it sounds like equating apples to oranges. Both are separate and perfect entities in themselves. The magic of the great Creator lies in that He made us perfect in our imperfections, and independent in our codependence on each other.

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Courage: Leading from the Heart

Courage and will are the foundation on which great stories are built. Life will only present opportunities; it won't present us with the weapons of guts, passion, and drive. They will come from within us. We have to overcome our worst fears and be willing to experience pain and shocks to draw them out. 

So never give up. Understand what you truly love. Then live for what you love and never allow yourself the excuse of the world and societal obligations to not use them. The most logical sounding reasons will force you away from following your heart and being fearless. However, it is in those illogical moments that fearlessness is born and impossible things happen... if you want to make something happen, be crazy enough to think you can and then be passionate enough to try.

In Vedic philosophies, there are seven primary centers of energy along the spinal column; the heart center is right in the middle of them. There is a reason why the heart center is placed this way. The three centers below it comprise the physical/material plane of humanity and the higher three centers are associated with more spiritual, "other worldly" aspect of our lives. The heart center acts as a bridge between the physical and spiritual planes of our lives and works as a means to bring balance in our life. That is why, the heart center is called "Anahata," the unstruck. So think with your mind, but lead from your heart.

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Who am I?

Who am I?

I am nobody, I am nothing
I am not this body, not this material thing,
I am not the money I own, not the fancy cars I fly,
Not the man who makes love to his woman,
Not the mother who bears and raises her children.

I am not a winner, nor am I a loser
Not the master of someone, not the slave of anyone
I am not my victories, I am not laughter, nor am I tears.

I am just a moist clump of clay in the Potter's hands.
He throws me on the never-stopping wheel of life,
He molds me one way, and I become that
Then He remoulds me in another way, and then I become that.

Finally, once He is satisfied
He picks me me off the wheel 
And puts me in the scorching heat
To burn, and solidify
And that becomes my destiny,
My purpose of life,
And that becomes my identity.

Don't be afraid of tough times. They are tough, but still possible. Surrender to His will, and allow Him to mold you, put you through fire and heat and everything. You'll end up being the best thing you can ever be.

Monday, April 11, 2016

Fate & the Meaning of Life

***This is not written by me. Credit goes to the original writer, somewhere on this Internet. Bless the soul who put words to these thoughts of countless others.***

Baksh deta hai khuda unko,
Jinki kismat kharab hoti hai,
Wo hargiz nahi bakshe jaate hain,
Jinki niyat kharab hoti hai.

Na mera ek hoga, na tera lakh hoga,
Na tareef teri hogi, na mazaak mera hoga

Guroor na kar shahe shareer ka,
Mera bhi khaak hoga, tera bhi khaak hoga
Zindagi bhar branded branded karne walon,
Yaad rakhna kafan ka koi brand nahi hota

Koi ro kar dil behlata hai,
Aur koi haske dard chupata hai

Kya karamaat hai kudrat ka,
Zinda insaan pani me doob jata hai,
Aur murda tair kar dikhata hai,

Maut ko dekha to nahi par shayad wo bahut khoobsurat hogi,
Kambakht! Jo bhi usse milta hai,
Jeena chhod deta hai!

Gazab ki ekta dekhi logon ki zamaane mein,
Zindon ko girane me aur murdon ko uthane mein,

Zindagi me na jaane kaunsi baat aakhri hogi,
Na jaane kaunsi raat aakhri hogi,
Milte julte baatein karte raho yaaron,
Ek doosre se na jaane kaunsi mulaqaat
Aakhri hogi!